Feels like a "no".

After a night's sleep, I'm not turbocharged on the idea of buying Graham's house. But I'm a little confused as to why that's the case.

It's partly just straight fact, that I don't look forward to several years of living in Lodeve. But of course I could survive that. There are worse fates.

And it's partly that I feel a little manipulated by "S". She's trying to sell us a house that we've already told her we don't want, and she's trying to make me feel unreasonable for not wanting it. Last night she called to try to convince Sarah to convince me to buy the place. "I'm calling to speak to the sensible one," she said on the phone. I should have put her onto Kepler. But the fact that it feels like she's wedging between Sarah and I is annoying.

It could be that we're passing up a golden opportunity, a cheap house in the South of France. We haven't seen anything comparable to this, even in other regions, for a comparable price. Am I walking away from something special? It's got broadband, for chrissakes! And sure, we could find something better for more money somewhere else... but this is a full 100,000 euros cheaper than other things we've been looking at. Could it be that living in a town I don't love is worth 100,000 euros?

But one thing is for sure: it's not our dream house. If Lodeve had a better market and public library.... but it doesn't. And maybe we should just go on our roadtrip, and see what alternatives we have. This could go in the meantime, but there is so much out there. Maybe we'd better move on. It's possible that we'll get somewhere else and realize what we've passed up. And we might come back. but until we have a little more basis for comparison, we just can't know. Better move on.

I do find it interesting, though, the shift in my motivations. Two months ago, I liked the town, but not the house. Now I'm willing to consider the house, but Lodeve has turned me off. A complete reversal. Chalk it up to learning curve, I suppose.

Sorry, "S".